A Parent's Guide to Emotional Regulation in Teens

As parents, it is not uncommon to see your teenager struggle with managing their emotions. Adolescence is a time of great change, and teens can become overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, and other emotional challenges. If you are concerned about the way your teen regulates their emotions, know that there are many things you can do to help them learn to manage the volatility and cope with stress. Included within this article are some helpful links that could be useful for further information.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is a technique that involves focusing your attention on the present moment. It is a powerful tool for regulating emotional outbursts because it helps teens become more aware of their thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations in the present moment. When they are able to tune in to their inner experience, they are better equipped to respond to their emotions in a more deliberate and intentional way. This can lead to taking control of their emotional responses rather than being carried away by them.

For example, when a teenager is feeling overwhelmed or stressed, they may experience a rush of intense emotions that can quickly escalate into an emotional outburst. However, if the teen has practiced mindfulness, they may be better able to recognize when they are becoming overwhelmed and take steps to regulate their response before they reach the point of no return.

Develop emotional awareness

Teaching your teen to identify and name their feelings can help them develop greater emotional awareness. When your teen is experiencing strong emotions, encourage them to identify what they're feeling and why. This can help them better understand their emotions and manage them in a healthier way. As a result, they become more in tune with their thoughts and feelings. This can help them better understand their own strengths and weaknesses, and identify areas where they may need to focus on personal growth.

Emotional awareness can help teenagers develop greater self-control and regulation skills. By recognizing emotions as they arise, teens can learn to respond to them in a more constructive way. Emotional awareness can help teens identify and address negative thought patterns and emotional triggers that can lead to anxiety and depression. By learning to recognize these patterns and triggers, teens can take steps to manage their emotions and reduce the impact of negative feelings.

Use positive self-talk

Positive self-talk can help youth develop a positive self-image and boost their self-confidence. By focusing on their strengths and accomplishments, they can counteract negative self-talk and develop a more balanced and realistic view of themselves. Replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations and positive self-talk, teens can shift their focus towards positive outcomes and solutions, and may reduce the impact of stress and anxiety.

Here are some examples of positive self-talk for teens. “I am worthy of love and respect, and I will treat myself with kindness and compassion. Mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth, and I will use them to become a stronger person. I am proud of myself for the progress I have made, and I will continue to work towards my goals with determination. I am unique and special, and I embrace my individuality and celebrate my differences."

Engage in physical activity

Physical activity can help teenagers regulate their emotions by releasing tension, anger and stress in a safe and constructive way. Encourage your teen to engage in physical activities they enjoy, such as sports, dance, or yoga. This can help them feel more relaxed and improve their overall well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood-boosting chemicals that can help reduce stress and anxiety.

Exercise may help teenagers build strong social connections and develop positive relationships. Having a strong support network can help individuals better manage their emotions and cope with stressors. It may also help them feel good about themselves and their abilities, leading to improved self-esteem and confidence.

Keep a journal

Journaling can help your teen process their emotions and identify patterns that trigger emotional outbursts. Encourage your teen to keep a journal where they can write down their thoughts and feelings. This can help them develop greater emotional awareness and manage their emotions more effectively. Remind your teen that the journal is a safe space for exploring their feelings.

Choose a quiet and comfortable space where your teenager can feel relaxed and focused. Encourage them to choose a format that they feel comfortable with and will use consistently. Journaling is most helpful when it becomes a regular part of their routine, whether it's daily or weekly. By encouraging honesty and vulnerability in their writing, teens will develop greater self-awareness. The process of writing can help them manage difficult emotions over time.

Use relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques can help young people relax and manage their emotions. Teenagers often face stress and anxiety due to academic pressure, social challenges, and changes in their lives. Practicing relaxation techniques can help them manage stress and anxiety and promote overall emotional well-being.

Deep breathing, progressive relaxation technique, visualization, listening to music, creating artwork or practicing yoga are some of the most effective ways to relax. Practicing relaxation techniques regularly can help teenagers develop the skills and habits needed to manage stress and anxiety and promote overall emotional well-being. These techniques can help reduce stress, lower anxiety, and improve overall well-being.

Seek social support

Social support is important for teens, especially when they're experiencing emotional challenges. Encourage your teen to seek social support from friends or family members. They may also reach out to a trusted teacher or therapist. These professionals can provide a listening ear, offer support, and help your teen access additional resources if necessary.

Feeling supported by caring individuals in a teens life can help them process their emotions, cope with stress, and develop healthy relationships. Remember, seeking social support takes courage and vulnerability. Encourage your teen to be gentle with themselves as they navigate their emotions and seek out the support they need.

Practice problem-solving

Teaching your teen problem-solving skills can help them effectively deal with stressors and challenges without becoming overwhelmed. Encourage your teen to identify the problem, brainstorm possible solutions, and evaluate the effectiveness of each solution. This can help your teen feel more confident and empowered.

Offer your teenager support and belief in their ability to make decisions based on the available information and to consider the potential consequences of their actions. Thinking creatively can help them formulate alternative solutions to problems. Encourage them to collaborate with others, whether it's a peer, teacher, or family member. Working together can help them gain new perspectives and find new solutions to the problem.

Help your teenager to notice and practice problem-solving skills in everyday situations, such as dealing with conflicts with friends or managing their time effectively. As parents it is important to offer support and guidance as they work through the problem-solving process. Gently guide them to take risks and learn from their mistakes. Problem-solving is a process, and it is important to help your teenager develop the skills and habits needed to approach challenges with a positive attitude and a growth mindset.

Use coping strategies

Coping strategies can help teens manage their emotions. Listening to music, engaging in hobbies, or taking a break when feeling overwhelmed are just a few examples of helpful coping strategies. Teens may use positive self-talk to challenge negative thoughts and promote a more positive mindset. By talking to a trusted friend, family member or mental health professional teens can process their emotions and gain perspective. Connecting with friends or participating in social activities can help teens feel supported and reduce feelings of isolation.

Parents can assist by helping teens devise time management techniques, such as making a schedule or prioritizing tasks. This can ultimately reduce stress and promote a sense of control. Encouraging your teenager to explore different coping strategies and find what works best for them can help them develop the skills and habits needed to regulate their emotions and promote overall emotional well-being.

Seek professional help

If your teen is experiencing intense or persistent emotional outbursts, it may be beneficial for you to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can help your teen develop coping strategies and manage their emotions more effectively.

Emotional outbursts are a normal part of adolescence. Helping your teenager learn to regulate their emotions is a process that takes time and effort. By implementing some of these recommendations such as practicing mindfulness, developing emotional awareness, and seeking social support, you can help your teenager manage their emotions in a healthier way. Every teenager is unique and what works for one may not work for another. Be patient and open to trying new strategies until you find what works best. Remember to be supportive and celebrate their successes along the way. With your help and support, your teenager can learn to manage their emotions and navigate the challenges of adolescence with greater resilience and confidence.

Equivalent Child Outcomes in Same-Sex vs. Different-Sex Parent Households

In the United States, beliefs about child and family outcomes for same-sex versus different-sex parents have been a source of confusion and debate. To address this topic, the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics published the recent study, "Same-Sex and Different-Sex Parent Households and Child Health Outcomes: Findings from the National Survey of Children’s Health" by Henry M. W. Bos et al. This study found no significant difference between outcomes for children raised in similarly stable same-sex versus different-sex parent households. However, the study did find that same-sex parents report significantly higher levels of parenting stress compared to different-sex parents.

METHODS

In this study, the National Survey of Children's Health (NSCH) data set was used to examine 95 female same-sex parent families and 95 different-sex parent families. the NSCH is a population-based survey on children's health. Families were chosen if they were stable and didn’t experience a major stress event such as divorce or separation.  In order to participate, two parents had to be presently coupled and had to have raised their children since birth. Same-sex male parents were not selected because there were too few households meeting these criteria.  The researchers note that one of the strengths of the investigation was that "the data were drawn from a population-based survey on children's health that was not described to participants as a study of same-sex parent families, thus minimizing potential bias."

Researchers focused on data from households with children ages 6 through 17 and focused on questions about “family relationships, parenting stress and child outcomes.” This data set offered a chance for the researchers to examine whether there “are there differences in family relationships (spouse/partner relationships and parent-child relationships), parenting stress, or child outcomes (general health, emotional difficulties, coping behavior, and learning behavior)" between same-sex and different-sex parent households.

We have created the following visualization that summarizes the major findings from this study. (Please set your browser to allow third party cookies if you receive an error while trying to explore the data.)

THE RESULTS

The study findings illustrate that there is no significant difference between same-sex and different-sex parent households in terms of spouse/partner relationship, parent/child relationship, child general health, child emotional difficulties, child coping behavior and child learning behavior. Thus, the researchers conclude that this study "contributes to the mounting evidence that children reared by same-sex parents fare at least as well as those reared by different-sex parents on a variety of measures used to assess psychological adjustment."  

The one exception to these otherwise equivalent results, however, was that the same sex couples reported experiencing greater parenting stress.  At this point in time little is known as to why same-sex parents experience greater stress as parents, but one theory suggests that the "cultural spotlight on child outcomes in families with same sex-parents” may be a causally contributing to the stress. 

Typically, greater parenting stress is a predictor that is "positively associated with children's emotional difficulties and negatively associated with child coping and learning behavior." Interestingly, however, greater parenting stress in same-sex parents did not manifest in these negative results. In an attempt to explain this, the researchers hypothesize that lesbian mothers are mitigating greater parenting stress by effectively utilizing support systems such as parenting groups and counseling services to allay negative child outcomes.

ADVICE FOR PARENTS

Unfortunately, homophobia in society and concerns about how societal attitudes may impact their families may be contributing to excess parenting stress among same-sex parents. These parents may also feel the pressure of other people judging them more closely and more critically compared to different-sex parents. 

Despite the societal challenges for same-sex parents, challenging days with children are common for all parents alike.  Parenting stress can be alleviated by understanding the triggers that contribute to your anxiety throughout the day. For example, you might feel stressed if your child is having a tantrum in a public place, especially if people begin to stare. Instead of saying, “I am a terrible parent because my child is acting out” try adjusting your self-talk to phrases such as: “my child is having a bad day,” “my child is hungry or tired” or “I am doing the best that I can." It is impossible to avoid all stressful parenting situations, but one key is to understand your limitations and allow yourself more time to accomplish tasks.

Also, attempt to prioritize the duties and responsibilities in your day so that you don’t become overwhelmed while setting healthy boundaries with others. Making time for yourself by eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep and daily exercise may also be beneficial. Finally, forming close emotional connections with family members, friends and cultivating a strong support system can also contribute to a healthier lifestyle. If you find that you are not able to deal effectively with the level of stress in your life or if you find that it is getting in the way of effective parenting, it may be time to contact a professional. 

EXPLORE MORE TOPICS:

• ADHD
• Bullying
• Depression
• LGBTQ
• Anxiety
• Self-Esteem
• Spanking
• Emotional Regulation
• Phobias
• Social Media
• Mindfulness
• PTSD
• Eating Disorders
• Autism
• Divorce

New Research in the Old Debate Over Spanking

Parent beliefs on the acceptability of spanking are often influenced by a wide variety of political, religious and cultural variables. Nevertheless, the overall attitude towards spanking in the U.S. has slowly been changing. According to the University of Chicago's General Social Survey, approximately 70% of U.S. parents currently indicate that spanking is an acceptable form of punishment compared to 84% in 1986 . 

To add to the debate, last month a new meta-analysis entitled "Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses" by Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor was published in the Journal of Family Psychology. The study "found no evidence that spanking is associated with improved child behavior and rather found spanking to be associated with increased risk of 13 detrimental outcomes."  The study went on to recommend that "Parents who use spanking, practitioners who recommend it, and policymakers who allow it might reconsider doing so given that there is no evidence that spanking does any good for children and all evidence points to the risk of it doing harm."

This new analysis evaluated a total of 1,574 studies related to the use of spanking children as a disciplinary measure used by parents.  Then, the list of studies was narrowed using the following criteria:

1) Studies had to be published in a peer-reviewed journal.
2) Studies had to include "a measure of parents' use of customary, noninjurious spanking (or slapping or hitting)" to insure that studies of physical abuse were not included.
3) Studies had to report an association between spanking and child outcomes.
4) Studies had to include "appropriate statistics for calculating effect sizes" (Cohen's d).

As a result of this criteria, the list of studies was narrowed to 75. These studies produced a total of 111 effect sizes that the researchers used for their analysis.  The 111 effect sizes included data from 160,927 unique children. The oldest studies included in the analysis are from 1961, while the newest are from 2014.  Thus, research from over five decades has been included.

We have created the following visualizations that summarize a portion of the findings from this study. (Please set your browser to allow third party cookies if you receive an error while trying to explore the data.)

Note: The calculations in the graphic are based on Cohen's d reported by outcome and study. Each Cohen's d is converted into a Number Needed to Treat using the Excel formula: 

Number Needed to Treat = 1/(NORMSDIST(Cohen's d +NORMSINV(Control Event Rate))-Control Event Rate)

Because we do not know the exact rate of negative child and adult outcomes for children that were not spanked (Control Event Rate), we allow readers to change this variable from 10% to 40%. Then, we determine the % Increase of Negative Outcomes for Spanked Children Compared to Not Spanked Children using 1/Number Needed to Treat.

THE RESULTS

The first tab "Spanking Outcomes" lists 17 different negative psychological outcomes. The study found that spanked children experienced each negative outcome more than children who were not spanked.  However, only 13 of the 17 negative outcomes showed a statistically significant increase among spanked children. Of these, 10 were child outcomes.  Spanked children were at an increased risk of being a victim of physical abuse, having mental health problems, having a negative parent-child relationship, externalizing behavior problems, anti-social behavior, low moral internalization, aggression, internalizing behavior problems, impaired cognitive ability and low self-esteem. In addition, the study showed that spanked children are at an increased risk of negative adult outcomes including support for physical punishment of children, antisocial behavior and mental health problems.

The second tab "Spanking Studies" shows all the different studies that the researchers used to obtain these results. Positive results indicate that spanked children are at elevated risk for negative psychological outcomes. Negative results indicate that spanked children are at reduced risk for negative psychological outcomes.

Of all the studies that were included, 102 of the 111 effect sizes showed elevated risk of negative psychological outcomes for children that were spanked. Only nine studies showed reduced risk of negative psychological outcomes for children that were spanked and only one (Tennant, Detals, & Clark, 1975) was statistically significant. 

COUNTER EVIDENCE

Professor Gershoff has long been associated with research on spanking and corporal punishment. Her 2002 study, "Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors and Experiences: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review" is widely cited and critiqued using two primary arguments.

Argument #1: Professor Gershoff's 2002 study grouped spanking with other forms of more severe physical punishment.  As a result, her 2002 study overstated the negative outcomes due to spanking. This line of argument was explored in "Ordinary Physical Punishment: Is It Harmful? Comment on Gershoff (2002)" by Baumrind et al.  When this critique reanalyzed the sample used in Professor Gershoff's 2002 study, it found that negative child outcomes were more highly associated with severe forms of corporal punishment compared to less severe forms such as spanking.

Thus, this study concluded that "Because her [Professor Gershoff's] measure included many instances of extreme and excessive physical punishment, her analyses are not relevant to the current political debate about whether normative spanking...is harmful for children. At present we conclude that the evidence presented in Gershoff’s meta-analyses does not justify a blanket injunction against mild to moderate disciplinary spanking." 

In their new paper, Professors Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor respond to this critique by noting that these researchers "concluded that only severe methods of physical punishment are harmful." However, the professors note that this critique included statistics comparing more severe and less severe forms of corporal punishment that indicate "that both are associated with more undesirable child outcomes." 

This critique led Professors Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor to modify the criteria for a study's inclusion in their updated analysis. In their latest analysis, only studies that had "a measure of parents' use of customary, noninjurious spanking (or slapping or hitting)" were included to insure that studies of physical abuse were excluded (Criteria #2 for inclusion of a study described above).

Argument #2: Professor Gershoff's meta-analysis is relying on a sample of methodologically weak studies that have have not conducted randomized controlled experiments. However, as Professors Gershoff  and Grogan-Kaylor note in their latest analysis, "parents' use of spanking is not easily or ethically studied through an experimental design, as children cannot be randomly assigned to parents with varying predispositions to spank, nor can parents typically be randomly assigned to spank or not spank."

Due to this problem, studies have not been able to "causally link spanking with child outcomes" because they suffer from "selection bias in who gets spanked - children with more behavior problems elicit more discipline generally and spanking in particular." This critique is covered in "The Intervention Selection Bias: An Underrecognized Confound in Intervention Research" by Larzelere et al.

In response, Professors Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor note that analyses that have used advanced statistical methods to mitigate these concerns and focused only on the most methodologically sound studies have failed to find evidence that spanking produces positive child outcomes. Instead, studies such as "Spanking, corporal punishment and negative long-term outcomes: a meta-analytic review of longitudinal studies" by Ferguson have found "small but non-trivial long-term relationships between spanking/corporal punishment use and negative outcomes." 

Advice for parents

As mentioned in the introduction, the decision to spank or not spank a child is deeply personal and the aim of this post is not to judge individual parenting decisions. However, it may be valuable for interested parents to understand the latest research and counter-arguments in this area of study.

In our review of the research, it appears reasonable to conclude the following:

1) There is little evidence to suggest that spanking leads to positive child outcomes.
2) At best, mild spanking adds little to no risk of negative child outcomes.
3) At worst, even mild spanking significantly increases risk of negative child and adult psychological outcomes.

With the evidence stacking up in favor of not spanking children, parents may want to question why they are continuing this practice. Would alternative forms of non-physical discipline prove as effective without the increased risk of negative psychological outcomes? Would brief "time-outs" or a short-term loss of privileges accomplish the same goals as spanking?

If trends on attitudes towards the acceptability of spanking continue, the practice of spanking is in no danger of a quick extinction. However, with new research and critiques working to improve methods and provide more sound conclusions, there appears to be mounting evidence that spanking is a practice that is ineffective at best and detrimental at worst.

• ADHD
• Bullying
• Depression
• LGBTQ
• Anxiety
• Self-Esteem
• Spanking
• Emotional Regulation
• Phobias
• Social Media
• Mindfulness
• PTSD
• Eating Disorders
• Autism
• Divorce

Explore more Topics: